Seamus C. Monster,
Resident Odditor

In the cold of February, the sultry warmth of Valentine’s love radiates as doth a Dutch oven ‘neath a polyester duvet. Pardon me for waxing poetic. I’m a hopeless romantic. Without romance, I am only hopeless.

You may remember my lamentations regarding Merlinda, my ex (issue #13). And while I have not found a new girlfriend, I am hopeful; got my eyeball on one such girl in particular. I’d love to print a picture of her (she is captivating!) but my friend Finn told me that doing such would be an error and would most likely ruin any chance I have with her. I rebutted, “But she doesn’t even read Oddballs! I asked her and she looked at me like I was from outer space!” On that note, I hope that she does, in fact, read Oddballs because I think she would be impressed with the fact that I hold the prestigious position of Resident Odditor.

Then she would go out with me!

Anyways… enjoy this issue!

Gorillas in the Misty Mountain Oysters
Imitation, Plant-Based & Lab-Grown

You’ll be amazed at how much these imitation morsels taste like the real thing! All the flavor, none of the backlash from activist groups!

Nearly Hairless Raccoon

All the cool kids are getting them! Don’t you want to be like the cool kids? Of course, you do! (Rabies shot not included.)

Lil’ Gnomies

Series #973

In my humble opinion, Series #973 is the best since Series #721 (enthusiasts know what I’m talking about!).