Seamus C. Monster,
Resident Odditor

I read somewhere that people are feeling more despair these days than at any other time in history. Where did I read that again? Oh, yeah, it was in my journal. I wrote it!

Just because I can’t prove it, doesn’t mean it’s not true. Tell me something: are you feeling more despair these days than before? I know it’s not just me because I talk to my friends and they all feel hopeless and nihilistic!

Note to self: Maybe it’s time to make new friends. Hmm…

Hold your head up! Brighter days are on the horizon! How do I know this? I don’t, but it sounds good, doesn’t it?

An ex-girlfriend of mine told me that my thoughts determine my outcome; good thoughts yield good things, and bad thoughts yield bad things.

She was always so optimistic. Oddly, she got blown to bits by a naval mine. Oh, well. I guess what I’m saying is to think positively. (And stay away from naval mines.)

Anyways… enjoy this issue!

“You’re A-MAZE-ING!” Poster

Life can be a labyrinth of unfavorable emotions. Stab those emotions in the eye with this attractive poster from your friends at Minotaur Motivations!

“LLama Looker” Retro Handheld Game

Finally, this 80’s classic handheld has been re-released! With one level of gameplay at 3.5-bits, you’re sure to have seconds of fun!

Time Machine Boombox

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you went back to the Middle Ages and introduced breakdancing? Well, wonder no more! Go on, do it!