Oddballs: Odds & Ends (From Issue #22)

Below is the text for text’s sake.

Your questions and comments addressed by none other than our resident Odditer…

Seamus C. Monster

Full disclosure: The questions and comments at hand are completely fictional as of this moment. So… send us questions and comments, will ya?

Full disclosure: The questions and comments at hand are completely fictional as of this moment. So… send us questions and comments, will ya?

Dear Oddballs,

Did we actually go to the moon and, if so, why haven’t we been back?

Skeptical in Syracuse, NY

Dear Skeptical,

What do you mean by “we”? You and me? I would like to go to the moon with you but NASA says that they don’t know how to get there, which is why we haven’t gone back. Makes sense.

Seamus C. Monster

Dear Oddballs,

In issue #10, you recommended a “Slime Bag” as one of your “Odditor’s Pics.” I ordered one from a catalog and after many months, it has arrived and it’s even more disgusting as you led me to believe.

Putrid in Peoria, IL

Dear Putrid,

Hearing such news warms my cockles. Side note: cockles become odoriferous when heated.

Seamus C. Monster

Dear Oddballs,

I’m homeschooled and my family lives out in the middle of nowhere; off the grid. How does a 15-year-old guy like me meet girls? Oh, and I’m not allowed on the internet.

Lonely in Lee County, AR

Dear Lonely,

You’re so young! You have your whole life to meet girls and have them break your heart. Why get started so early? Girls started breaking my heart when I was 12 and it hasn’t stopped. Give yourself a few more painless years.

Seamus C. Monster

Dear Oddballs,

How do I get my boyfriend to take me someplace nice, like Olive Garden?

Pastaless in Portland, OR

Dear Pastaless,

Try saying the following magic words: “Will you take me to Olive Garden, please?” If he won’t take you, go alone.

Seamus C. Monster

Send questions and comments to jason.salas1@gmail.com or DM them on Instagram @OddballsZine