Hey, Jason Salas!

Below is the text because the text is below.

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Full disclosure: The questions and comments at hand are completely fictional as of this moment. So… send us questions and comments, will ya?

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Dear Oddballs,

Have you fulfilled any of your New Year’s resolutions from this year? Just asking because I gave up on mine around February. SMH!

Undisciplined in Urbana, IL

Dear Undisciplined,

I’m proud to answer, “Yes!” You see, I resolved to “Be more of myself” and, as of today, I’ve gained 15 pounds. More of me to go around!

Seamus C. Monster

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Dear Oddballs,

My new girlfriend bought me some cologne but it stinks. How do I tell her that nobody likes it except for her?

Odoriferous in Oxnard, CA

Dear Odoriferous,

Either your girlfriend has bad taste in cologne or she is using the stink juice to repel other women from you. In both cases, you can tell her that it stinks but you appreciate the effort. Smell you later!

Seamus C. Monster

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Dear Oddballs,

I just had my bar mitzvah and was gifted a nice chunk of change. I want to get the “King Ribbit IV Painting in an Ornate Frame” featured in your “Odditor’s Picks” in issue #12. How much is it and is it still available?

Manly Moolah in Madison, WI

Dear Manly Moolah,

I contacted the art dealer who said it already sold for $9,900. Then again, the “art dealer” is a well-known con man who uses art to launder money. Not saying this was the case but…

Seamus C. Monster

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Dear Oddballs,

How old is “old”? I think it’s 40.

Youngster in Yacama, WA

Dear Youngster,

They say “Life begins at 40.” You sound younger than that so you’re not even alive yet. Take that, whipper-snapper!

Seamus C. Monster

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Send questions and comments to jason.salas1@gmail.com or DM them on Instagram @OddballsZine

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